My views on small talk.
I'm not much of a person for small talk. For me it's the usual: "Hi, how are you doing?" With "Just fine." As the answer. Then "How are you doing?" to the other person and they answer the same.
Most of my social interactions are at church. What I mentioned above is what transpires before or after the service. We then go to the fellowship room for what is called Friendship Cafe.
There is coffee and tea, people sign up in advance to bring snacks. We sit at round tables, nibble and chat.
We know each other and don't have to find out what job they had, it's more about what's going on in their lives right now.
I've had a nice conversation with an American of Japanese descent who is a veteran from WWII, we celebrated his 94th birthday recently. He had some interesting stories, none of them about the war.
A group of women are planning a social tea at the end of the month with the proceeds of $10.00 per person going to the Heifer Fund. A group that buys a family a cow in a third world country for them to help on their farm. There is much planning still.
We talk about how our last week went. Someone returned from vacation to find their plumbing was backed up and the cost of fixing it.
Another person is going to Africa in a few months, he's an electrician and the group he's with is maintaining a water station so the people in the village don't have to walk miles to a river for water. Our church has taken up a collection to help him with this project.
I shared that my son is driving down to Tuscon, (he got back yesterday) to visit his son, my grandson, before he's going into the Marines.
My wife and daughter belong to the craft group that meets one afternoon a week, and they talk the latest projects they're working on.
To me "small talk" is about the inconsequential, we tend to talk in our group about what's important to each person. Sometimes the weather is important: "Damn, it's cold outside," or "My what a beautiful day."
Sometimes someone will tell a joke and others then tell theirs. It can become a competition.
Then some of us go into Bible study where we tend to share some deep secrets while trying to relate to the topic we're studying.
Outside of church, I don't come into contact with that many other people for small talk, the benefits or consequence of being retired, and not being able to golf anymore due to a bad back.
11 comments:
Your Friendship Cafe sounds nice!
My dad and spouse have a friendly competition going on to see who can find the funniest Dad joke. It’s delightful.
We have two different churches... the one we go to when we are in Florida has a coffee hour right after service, and it's much the same as you describe (except ours is a smaller church without a lot of extras ... we're all old.. lol). But, it's a great place to catch up with people we don't get to see very often.
Our church at home has coffee and nibbles during Sunday School.. most of the small talk there is before and after. Plus our ladies group has a weekly lunch..and that's always fun.
A sense of humor keeps people close, thanks, Lydia.
Those gatherings are great, glad you have them too.
That brings back memories. I learned a lot of my 'small talk' skills going to church as a kid. There was always someone asking about what we'd been up to or what we might be doing over the next week.
I was the same way, George
That's an interesting look into your church, not to mention the nominal topic of small talk! I do find casual conversation much easier with people I know already.
Yes, Michael, it is.
Your church sounds like a great place.
Itis, Kei, thanks for your comment.
Post a Comment