I've read a number of Michael Prescott's mystery novels, and I'll always give another author with my family name a read.
Danielle Prescod has lived a life in an affluent neighborhood and attended private schools. She was the only one or one of very few blacks at the schools.
As the title suggests in trying to fit into the social fabric of her environment, she assumed the role of subservience. She was included but could never be a threat to the other girls. She was along for the ride, but always in the back seat.
She pointed to TV and movies and the stereotype of the token black done for political correctness. Hollywood always has a token minority, be it black, Hispanic, Asian, gay, and now I'm noticing transgender. It is a way trying to break fight racism, sexism and different lifestyles to the masses. At the same time, it creates a stereotype that's hard to break.
From earlier in Danielle's life, she had a self-loathing for her skin and body type. She was not alone; she was following in her mother's and other black women's examples. Getting her hair worked on was an ordeal. Her mother helped her use chemicals to straighten her hair with the accompanying pain from them burning her skin and eventually destroying her natural hair and needing to wear wigs.
She became anorexic and bulimic trying to have the perfect fashion model body. A size 2 meant she was too fat and her backside too prominent.
Working in the fashion industry discards were free, but they were all size 0, and to wear them meant skipping meals for days at a time. Dressing in the latest styles were a must, but she couldn't afford to buy them.
One remembrance was being at an afterparty, and she was required to wear the designer dress with very high heels. She was assigned to the door to show the arriving guests to the reception line, as if they couldn't fine it themselves. She stood in the line not able to move hours in agony, without showing it because of the shoes.
When allowed to join the party, she dashed home, put on a jogging suit with fashion trainers and returned to be asked why she changed clothes.
She finally realized once she turned thirty that no matter how hard she tried, she never fit in, or was acceptable to the crowd. She was only window dressing her entire life. This freed her up to start eating healthy and to leave the industry.
For the most part she left her love life out of the narrative. There was only one mention of a boyfriend and then it was too much information, but she made a valid point.
I read Fear of Flying by Erica Jong, and Wifey by Judy Blume. The focus of those books was how unfair it is being a woman. Daughters of the West Mesa by Irene Blea, The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough has a not-so-subtle theme along those lines. All have given me understanding in what it's like to be a woman and mother.
Token Black Girl was similar is the unfairness of a person's life, but not as a woman, but as a black woman. The unfairness of how in order to fit into the socio-economic crowd she had to be subservient, never be a threat, never show her true feelings, never to stand out, she had to destroy her natural hair and starve herself to fit in and look and act like them. She thought she had two choices, be imitation white or ghetto.
It's hard for me to relate to Danielle Prescod, but from her words I could empathize with her struggle and gain enlightenment into the thoughts and struggles of her life. I'm glad she finally gave up the struggle and decided to accept herself and stop trying to be something she wasn't.
2 comments:
Sometimes it's good to read memoirs from people that I have nothing in common with just to realize that there is a lot of struggle out there.
So absolutely true.
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